jealousy

Jealousy seems to be getting the best of me.

I really can't help being jealous, or at least feeling the pang of jealousy whenever a situation of potential competition arrives. Why do I have this basic female instincts (it seems) to get all flared up about a boyfriend talking about another female other than myself, bringing up porn stories, or saying anything that sounds like "so-and-so has really pretty eyes" about another woman??? I HATE IT! What the fuuuuuck.

When a situation like that happens, I get all jealous and shit, and then act a bit angry and say/do something really stupid that conveys my moment of weakness and poor judgment and then finally feel stupid about getting jealous. And this all happens in a matter of minutes!

Is something wrong with me? How can I change myself so that I'm not driving away someone that I really, truly care about? And how does my boyfriend deal with this, if he can see that moment of jealousy flare up? It's amazing.

It's really amazing to see how ridiculous I can be. It's amazing how sorry I feel for myself right now.