Jealousy seems to be getting the best of me.
I really can't help being jealous, or at least feeling the pang of jealousy whenever a situation of potential competition arrives. Why do I have this basic female instincts (it seems) to get all flared up about a boyfriend talking about another female other than myself, bringing up porn stories, or saying anything that sounds like "so-and-so has really pretty eyes" about another woman??? I HATE IT! What the fuuuuuck.
When a situation like that happens, I get all jealous and shit, and then act a bit angry and say/do something really stupid that conveys my moment of weakness and poor judgment and then finally feel stupid about getting jealous. And this all happens in a matter of minutes!
Is something wrong with me? How can I change myself so that I'm not driving away someone that I really, truly care about? And how does my boyfriend deal with this, if he can see that moment of jealousy flare up? It's amazing.
It's really amazing to see how ridiculous I can be. It's amazing how sorry I feel for myself right now.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
stumbling is funnn
http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/gates/
terrifying but absolutely beautiful images
I freakin' love stumbling.
terrifying but absolutely beautiful images
I freakin' love stumbling.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Academia
Today I received the grade for my Asian American Psychology exam and well... I got another C. Again. First it was the Psych 9B exam, and now this! GAH. I really need to study more and study productively... and stop being too over confident of my knowledge for the tests.
When I texted Greg about it, I actually started to feel pathetic. I tend to slip into this mode a lot and it's scary. It's as if I turn into a whole other person and start to pity myself too much. Then I get all gloomy and start thinking pessimistically, and then I go even further to start comparing myself to other students (often Greg, then various other friends I have) and feel very very sorry for myself. But really what I should be doing is working on how I look at a situation I'm in. Greg did a good job of pointing out that "we fail so we can try harder next time." He's absolutely right. That's when I started to get a grip on my self-pitying emotion and drown out that static, and then I started to feel better.
It's a good thing that I have someone in my life who can help me with my problems, be it academic or personal.
And now I'm reviewing my notes from Psych this week, catching up on reading and making even more notes. I will proceed to shut off my computer and not open it until I'm done with the "Thinking" chapter in my book.
So, buona notte!
When I texted Greg about it, I actually started to feel pathetic. I tend to slip into this mode a lot and it's scary. It's as if I turn into a whole other person and start to pity myself too much. Then I get all gloomy and start thinking pessimistically, and then I go even further to start comparing myself to other students (often Greg, then various other friends I have) and feel very very sorry for myself. But really what I should be doing is working on how I look at a situation I'm in. Greg did a good job of pointing out that "we fail so we can try harder next time." He's absolutely right. That's when I started to get a grip on my self-pitying emotion and drown out that static, and then I started to feel better.
It's a good thing that I have someone in my life who can help me with my problems, be it academic or personal.
And now I'm reviewing my notes from Psych this week, catching up on reading and making even more notes. I will proceed to shut off my computer and not open it until I'm done with the "Thinking" chapter in my book.
So, buona notte!
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